Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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