In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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