Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
