Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm jealous of your bromance
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
