you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
