Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
a search helicopter?!
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
