This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
