good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
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Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
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Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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