As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
there is glitter all over my balls
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
