Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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