I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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