put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
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And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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