i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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