yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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