8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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