You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
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I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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