but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
