Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
