I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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