ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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