you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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