I hate your face
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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