Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
