it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Randomize
