You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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