i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
