Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
