she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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