I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize