p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
