there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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