you turned your livingroom into a bong?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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