I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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