Why does Corona taste like a burp?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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