I could have mohawked her pubes.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i think my cat just said my name.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
