from now on my penis is your penis
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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