wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
