she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
