Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Sext me about skeletons
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
