youre lurking in front of me
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?