btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy