Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Actions speak louder than pants.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?