omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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