dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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