hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize