turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
