If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
