Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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