there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize