I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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