If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
