oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
