I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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