She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize