you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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