I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
