So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize