this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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