my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
