"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
