You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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