Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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