420 ftw
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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