I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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